zealand

the next morning was fucking freezing. all of the outside surfaces were covered with white frost and waiting for sun to thaw them. i managed to pick all of my things and tryied to wait outside until the sun starts shine properly. there were nearly no signs of it until it pulled itself from behind the roof. it was lovely to feel its power. we said goodbye to each other. girls went hitch hiking and colombian cyclist went to catch a bus to wanaka. it would be too easy to do it with a bus as he did. i wanted to make it from twizel to omarama take a bus over the lindis pass and cycle again from tarras. to be honest lindis pass is 33 kms up the hill all the time and it’s winter so ‘wake up’ i would like to survive. ride to omarama was more then flat and straight. no clouds no wind. i made those 34 kms around until half past one. then i waited for about 20 minutes and took a bus to tarras for 22 dollars. it was worth it. i took one hour by bus to get over the lindis pass (974 meters at the highest point of the road). i don’t remember anything as i fell asleep immediately after i’ve got in. words of the driver to wake me up by shouting my name from the loudspeakers was the next thing i remembered. due to this i was able to make continue on my way to wanaka. tarras consists of a one school, caffeteria and a 4 square shop. 1km after this settlement road junction tells you to take the road right towards wanaka. 31 kms to final destination. it’s quite flat ride with few gentle hills and going down and up to clutha river. then there is about 1 km quite steep hill before entering wanaka plateau. there is war museum with tanks outside and some planes inside the building around airport. i’ve never seen any war museum being so high in the mountains then this. nez zealand’s army has to be really proud to have this thing over here. there are another 5 kms to wanaka mostly going down the hill. it was getting dark and i had to activate my lights. just before entering wanaka there starts cyclist route. i’ve met some fellow cyclist who’ve told me that my light batteries in the back of the bike are about to die and my visibility due to this fact is almost zero. i was really uncomfortable with this fact and quickly managed to join the cyclist route. when i’ve arrived to the city centre there wasn’t much to seen because it was completely dark. some yougsters told me to go to base backpackers. it was full with young ppl and i’ve asked for yha hostel just after reaching the reception. the lady manager was very professional and asked me what sort of price am i looking for. i’ve explained my situation with expensive internet there and she understood my problem very well. without much more to say i was given the map and navigated to my hostel. i’ve got on the first street left an asked at the reception of bbh backpackers. there was my friend colombian as well and two hitch hiking girls. he asked me what sort of machine i am that i made it here on the bike. i’ve happily explained my cheat with a bus but still those 67 kms done today. i’ve then signe in to the hostel and fell asleep in very very cold room. i was there. not having much money and that cold outside i decided to stay one more day and end up my mission here. i wanted to get back to chrischurch to get some work as guys in the room told me that there was no work back in queenstown and that they’ve made it here from there. well what could i have done about it? nothing. i had some contact of two czechs living aroun that place for some time. snowboarder girl and traveler with quite big car. after the meeting in his car we talked some general bullshit and went to do some fireshow on the beach. there was exact time for it and we then headed to have a jug of ugly beer. in shooters bar or something like that.

the next thing was to make a ‘last supper of god’. new world had some competetive prices of some vegies so i’ve just added some minced and serverd with potatoes. hmmm.

this is the very end of my traveling…probably..

i’ve left lake tekapo yha hostel and headed towards twizel. it was nice and cold day with clouds which looked like a lamb’s fluffy fur. it was wonderful. the contrast of mountains and the sky…i was in the cyclist’s heaven. just to have someone with me…possibly a girl to have a quick number on the rocks behind the small hill at the golf area. i had to ask some guy near the airport with air safari sign as i couldn’t find the way to the tekapo pukaki canal which i was about to follow. the old fellow in the jeep have just told me that beginning of the canal is closed and that i have to continue towards it’s second enter later on. i made that ‘uncomfortable’ grin and thanked the guy for not letting me in troubles. highway was not frequented much and those who’ve been passing me were cheering me up with honks or their thumbs up out of the windows. i managed to get myself beyond the gentle hill just in front of the enter to tekapo military camp. there was nobody there so i took a quick piss nearby squeezed even the last drop out of my tool because the rest of it could make you feel very annoyed. it freezes a bit and you have a feeling like it’s gonna fall apart in a minute. i wished i had bought those cycling pants as some of the ppl were advicing me to do. but you know….hundred dollars are approx 4 nights in backpackers. that started to be the thing i couldn’t afford. there were several flats and one relatively small hill when i reached a beautifuly blue water of tekapo pukaki canal second enter. route became completely flat for next 15 kms to salmon farm. the only thing i’ve met was one car with some special gadget and van with to backpackers. nothing else. i was enjoying that beauties when i felt naughty enough to get through some chocolate

after few nonsense ‘nijna’ poses in front of that nice scenery i revealed that my passionate I feels a need for roayal gala apple and so the apple has gone in few minutes. i buried the core under the ice of frozen water just next to the road. of course i’ve made some pictures as that strange combination of things twisted my sick brain and i felt like some tripping artist. pictures are total rubbish and other two miniatures as well. it must have been that lack of oxygen in those higher altitudes which made me so high. i must admit that i sometimes act same in the normal conditions withou being high in the mountains. this fact is so disturbing that when i think of it now i have to laugh and ask myself what kind of thing made me do the things i’m usually doing.

was it when my mum was trying to examine my multiplication table skills while i was having a bath? it ended up when she was so angry when i kept giving wrong answers for ‘7 times 7′ that she actually pushed my head under the water. i was completely shocked and i thought it took ages omg..but i had enough time to make up my mind and after getting out i shouted the answer correctly. we both laughed then and the examination process now on was always affected with this funny episode and we couldn’t stay concentrated. that was the end of the lessons of math with my mum hopefuly

this is that ‘maybe’ which could have affected me. i don’t know.

i moved myself closer towards the salmon farm. the whole area was so sexy to look around. blue water of the canal..nobody around sun was shining..incredible visibility. ahh. then i arrived to the farm. i laughed so hardly i was afraid there’s going to be a hershey squirt down in my pants. the sign of ‘PROTECT THE © ANAL FROM DIDYMO. yeah, you’re right. somebody have erased the ‘C’ letter and so the it made a huge impact on my morality. i was distracted and started taking pictures of everything around me. mt. cook was perfectly visible. salmons were ’slurping’ the gasps of water and i few caretakers fooled around with their trolleys full of granulated food. the road was about to end after getting to the end of the canal. approx 1 km behind the farm there was monster floodgate with two gigantic pipes ending up in the pukaki power plant turbine station. this was the thing i was waiting from. there was about 1,5 km long road downhill. i gained so massive speed that i was afraid my gear will fall apart from a bike. then it was approx 6 other kms to the end of the pukaki lake. i stopped for a while to get some longer rest take some pictures and possibly have a nap. i don’t know what happened that at that time but i was so arroused that i couldn’t fell asleep. it was so beautiful and i had a feeling for some special reward. so i pulled my wand out and jerked off. that was exactly what i needed at that time. it just relaxed me so much that i was ready to go again. after some more kms road became gently rolling down around the mt. cook turnover. it was just around 18 kms to twizel then. it was getting lake but terrain was excellent. nothing serious. i arrived to twizel yha around quarter to five. the only interruption was the huge herd of lambs crowding the street. farmers were whistling and dogs went nuts. three minutes and theather was over. i wanted to take some pictures but very lazy to put down my bag and camera to do it so. so nothing

i’ve found yha very easily and wanted to get cooled outside for a bit as i was sweaty and my jacket smelled really horrible. suddenly pick up stopped nearby and the driver greeted me as ‘hi dude, i’ve seen you riding the bike around us’ (i passed by some of the road workers on the hill just before getting to the end of lake pukaki). the guy told me that i’m not visible much with and to wait for him for a while that he’s gonna get some reflexive jacket. i was stoned to the pathway with my jaws deeply down. i couldn’t believe what i’ve just heard. he was really quick and got back in 5 minutes with the vest for me!!! i didn’t know how to thank him. he said that it was pleasure and left with greetings of nice travels.

i was still astonished when entered the office and payed for the room. i entered complex no.4 and met the guy from colombia again. i thought he’s gonna pull out some mean coke and make some lines for all of us there (4 girls, three guys). nothing like so we went to the city to buy some real food. i accompanied my food with a bottle of really cheap wine. no matter which. i wanted to get drunk a bit.

we chatted while i was cooking and drinking my wine. it was easy to get drunk a bit because it’s been quite while when i had some alcohol. despite the everything i rejected invitation for lord of the ring I screening and went to bed straight ahead. superfine!!!!

there was a difficult and very hilly section to fairlie and so i was exhausted an lazy. which is i can tell you very mortal combination. it took me the whole day to get there (which wasn’t a big deal if i consider the fact that i started around the lunch:) i took a hundrets of short rests as everything went on so slowly. i wanted to die just before fairlie. last hill was the hell on earth and i’ve paid for it with hectolitres of my sweat and burned fat. in fairlie was getting dark and i quickly managed to seek for some accommodation. the only one and the cheapest option was to pay for the tent 15 dollars in the holiday park (there was free internet in the price so it was probably 50% of the descision) i pitched the tent while other ppl watched me with that malicious smiles on their faces. i didn’t know why but my time hasn’t come yet. after some brief chat with the ones in the kitchen i moved to the tv room as it was heated with the heaters. it was very comfortable and i watched the batman movie and skyped with some of my friends in the czech rep. around half past midnight i went outside. the whole area was covered in the fog and it was humid as in the knickers of a girl who’ve just ended up her gym excersise. my tent was far from being univolved. it was like damp towel i was about to sleep in. it wasn’t to cold but i wanted to prevent getting cold by taking all of the clothes i had. two pairs of socks, two pants, 4 t shirts finished with warm hooded jacket. i made my tent quite neaty and fell asleep. i woke up at 4 am with feeling of sleeping on the piece of ice. i couldn’t prevent the cold going up from the sleeping mat. after several turns an attempts trying to fall asleep again i gave up and evacuated to the tv room. what was my surprise when i opened the tent and realised that it’s covered in ice and completely frozen. ice was even falling down from the zip of the entrance. my god!! what the fuck? i asked myself. i couldn’t fell asleep in the tv room as i was far from feeling relaxed so started skyping with my friend waiting for the sun to rise and thaw my ‘icy kingdom’. after serious drying technique it was stable to put it in the knapsack and i started cycling towards lake tekapo at half past twelve. 43 kms of total despair and exhaustion. i was feeling sleepy and desperate because there was that burke’s pass in front of me. 25 kms of climbing up with 4 last kms very difficult. i took a several pictures on the top finished the chocolate and continued 18 other kilometers to the tekapo village. i just want to say that views on the alps were hilarious until about 4 pm when i was worried if i could finish this stage. i was about to dying there as there was one hill after another. i had to start using the lights as it was to dark to see me and cars were passing me in amazing speeds. but then….salvation. sign of tekapo scenic reserve injected me with positivity and i regained my last energy reserves and made it inside the centre. i asked the guy at the petrol station where’s that yha hostel. i hardly spoked to the guy at the reception. just some kind of a sign and one word language was going on there. very impolite from me. after checkin, tea, instant soup and a shower i recovered and went to buy a massive bowl of chipies and tartar sauce. it dissappeared as quickly as i put it on the table. what a meal. and so here i go. happily staying in lake tekapo with wonderful views and nice visible stars at night. today was fucking cold outside that i payed for another night. it’s few degrees above zero and just going out to let one is very quick and cold proccess. tommorow is expected 8 degrees which is exactly the temperature to leave this place and move down to the warmer basins of this winter seasoned alpine place…

the route from the christchurch was slowly going up and it went through canterbury flats as i’ve been informed from my guide. there was an artuhr’s pass somewhere further but i took a road going to hororata. after a some kms there was a beautiful views of the mountains behind. there was just one danger. i don’t know if it is usual there to keep spreading the kettle dump onto the grass of huge paddocks but i can tell you that the smell almost smashed me off the bike. i couldn’t get rid of it. i wanted to be like auntie selma from simpsons who can’t smell anything. it was just so painful to get over it. you can’t prevent smelling it anyhow. it was like you’re riding your bike in a dump. awful. i’ve had enough and happily had a rest afte several kilometers when i could smell my sweaty clothes. took few pictures at the charing cross junction where 8 streets are crossing!

it was just a step to get to hororata. i was naughty and bought a big pizza like pie which stuffed me as a goose whom are produced for foie gras. truly it was hard to move. i tried cycling further on but gave up after another 5 kms with forehead covered with cold sweat. i pitched the tent next to the sheep paddock and immediatelly jumped inside…where i’ve fallen asleep too early.

for the rest of the night i was just trying to figure out what to do. i looked fresh probably like a fish on the asian fish market. nothing to do with colour so i decided to stay another night reading my new kinsgley’s amis book called ‘take a girl like you’. the next day i was ready to go. my next destination could have possibly been mt. somers. i cycled until beautiful rakaia gorge valley appeared. i took three pictures and they are so beautiful i haven’t decided which one to place on the web so there are all of them now after climbing the hill beyond the bridge i had my normal appearance of sweaty and nasty looking cyclist! the route went up quite a bit but you could feel it in your legs. i was really about to give up when i saw some small settlement with cafe opened. i’ve refilled my water tank with energy drink with disturbing name ‘mother’ and it gave me ubelievable energy. i had 18 kms to mt. somers and approx 25 minutes before it got dark as in the ass. as i said energy drink was squeezing out every bits and pieces of my human side and i made it in a time which would put lance armstrong ashamed. there was shop still opened so i bought some food and to the advice of a shopkeeper went to the war memorial camp. there was a nice kitchen there with comfortable couch and nobody in there so i decided to sleep inside without bothering with pitching the tent. i made a food an when the rugby team switched on the lights of the stadium or field or what was it i practised my juggling skills once again. it was an epic win that idea of sleeping inside as it was raining heavily during the night.

i started cycling to geraldine next morning. i had a lovely weather with sun and all that shit. there wasn’t anything nice on the way there except big amry cars collumn. i could see some of the soldiers waving me and taking pictures of me on their cameras. i was probably real exot to them. the country was something like a flat piece of land unexpectedly divided into paddocks with lots of lambs and cows. a picture of new zealand i won’t ever forget in my life. of course i can mention some of i think more funny and typical pictures of new zealand’s copyrights….like picture of possum pancakes everywhere on the road or more romantic one…like a quad bike with a farmer in the gumboots and raincoat and back of the bike loaded with border collies i think it could be put as a real nz symbol instead of almost extincted kiwi bird or that ‘all blacks’ fern branch. nevermind it’s just a joke. i hope i won’t be killed for this

i rewarded myself with icecream scoop and bag of tobbacco in geraldine and continued to the ‘heart’ of that town. information centre lady was very cheerful and helpful. we chatted a bit and after a while i was at the camp office just behind the corner. lady behind the desk was very talkative as well. i don’t know how you kiwis do that. to be that nice and warm ppl. in my country i would be probably insulted very soon for being so chatty.

anyway she called to the backpackers where they wanted 30 dollars for dormitory room. it made me laugh loud and after hanging the phone i told the lady that this is a price for 4 bed room in wellington yha hostel. she charged me 15 dollars for my tent and i made myself comfortable. soon after some food i managed to go for some internet stealing. internet was very expensive comodity in this town… i had a luck to found some unsecured hotspot just nearby a police station. yeeaha. i wasn’t arrested and did everything to put up my posts on my blog.

the way to christchurch was quite pleasant without any hills just flat as callista flockharst’s chest. there wasn’t much to do or see as it got busier when entering the suburbs.. i had to move out of the highway as it became motorway approx. 20 kms before the city. so there i was lonely biker with running nose and thirst for some fruits or sweets.. there wasn’t anything special as i was going deeper towards the city centre except one big overcrowded and cheap shops with veggies. i didn’t let them to make a fortune on me as i bought just two really masssive aplles and pinneapple juice, but the woman behind the cashier desk was really sweet. she wished me good luck and i went out to terminate those apples immediatelly.

people were looking at me as on some brown spit on someone’s gown while eating those in front of the shop. i have to confess my appearance was rather comedian’s. those good leather shoes, ugly looking pants which probably seen more sun then they should and same looking jacket. not to mention that i was completely pouring sweat on my arse and on my back as wearing the knapsack everytime…long story short, smelly monster.

i realized that i’m no longer in that look of brave and cheerful traveller on a push bike but rather someone who’d better to go get changed. i definitely woke up and from that time it was civilised and bigger city breathing on me after wellington.

i was hungry before entering the centre and so subway was a reasonable solution to me. there was very very nice girl making that baguette looking at me with her dark eyes and lively coloured cheeks everytime she was about to put some different ingredience into it.

i always forgot what i wanted to put in my food and was just concentrating on her face and breasts. i was far from good looking so i managed to point that place on the map to go back when changed.

i arrived into centre yha hostel and checked in. my first steps were leading to shower and laundry room. i felt like a new born baby when sliding into new and freshly washed trousers. ahh. then i went outside to see the city a bit. it was already dark and my first impression of a city was a ‘party pills’ sign just about 2 min walk from the hostel

that would have been really quick to get trashed with those 2 hours after my arrival even though they were ‘now 50% off’

i decided to take a quick walk around the city and reach te hoyts cinema where terminator salvation was screened. it was great. the screen was so huge that i could turn my head to see from left to right. movie was a good parody to the terminators movies before. i really enjoyed it even though there wasn’t enough arnie. i wandered around and got back to the hostel where some guys played billiard in lounge. i listened to their chat while sending an emails and i can tell you that i didn’t want to be their friend at all. hopefuly they quit and i could concentrate on writing my blog.

the next day i had a meeting with couchsurfer julia. she invited me to stay at her place. it was quite embarrassing as i got lost while riding to her place. finally after 1,5 hours of fooling around the different areas of town i’ve arrived to her place. she quickly introduced me to the rules of her house gave me the keys and quit to do her duties. there were taiwanese guys staying with her so we had a brief chat and i’ve been invited to join their rented car and head towards the city centre again. we’ve splitted at the information kiosk where i decided to do hike up to the sugarloaf antenna above the city. the day was pleasant and even though it was windy sun was shining enough to make me warm.

i got into the 67 bus heading to the end of the town just under the hill. i bought a fish and chips with me and decided to eat them on the top. so i started climbing and after reaching just underneath of antenna i pulled out the lunch and finished it. i made quite nice pictures because the view was stunning. after getting stuffed i manated to have a rest a bit.

on the way down there was a bunch of mountain bikers and i had to get off the road quickly as they were riding downhill very roughly.

then i met jesse and will and went shopping to pack’n’save. i wanted to prepare the dinner for them. it consisted of potatoes as a side dish with czech meat pancakes and pickled gherkins as to balance the tastes. it was wonderful they told they’ve liked it very much and we’ve been chatting till late. they had to get up at 3am as they had to go the airport to catch their plane.

the next day i went to the centre on my bike as i was invited to some ‘craft 2.0′ bussiness. i walked with my host julia around the saturday market and then to that craft thing. it was packed with ppl and there were a shitloads of home made craft…mostly for women. and i can tell the best thing to do was to walk around and look and chat with those nice ladies they were selling their stuff. i didn’t fit much with that visage of beard and huge bag on my back always annoying ppl behind who’ve just been diving into some serious home made wallets patterns and such. anyway i was really happy to see that there isn’t only all that mainstream fashion and other things going on. if my balls had been cut off i would have definitely purchased some of the cute earings they’ve been offering. i went to the book shop later to buy some book instead to cover the needs of some intelectual proccess…

we went to see the cathedral in the heart of christchurch. quite nice and i took some photos of inside. then we decided to have common dinner and that i’m gonna be the one who’s going to cook it for them. i’ve been invited the next day to julia’s partner mike’s flat. great. i could fully roll out with my cooking skills.

i went to pack’n’save again and purchased all of the things for the huge feast. then i had the whole evening and the next day for me. at 5 pm next day i rang the bell in and mike invited me in. we had some quick chat and then julia and all the food arrived. i went on to prepare the best i could. stuffed chicken with potatoe wedges and steamed veggies with chicken stock soup. i was quite slow and we started eating at 8:30 but it was in my opinion delicious. stuffing was so fluffy and mouth filling and they both liked it. we then had a after meal chat and i had to approach back to julia’s as it was getting late.

the next day i forgot to set my alarm clock and got up at 11. i kindly ask to stay one more night as i wasn’t much prepared to continue. i’ve spent the whole day reading my book and then went for a quick juggle onto the rugby field nearby. i got ready and packed for the next morning.

the next morning was beautiful with poridge and lots of sugar. i started again it was a bit awkward because the wind appeared to be the only enemy i had. as the route leaded along the shore and wind was whipping the waves heavily it was like sitting in the splash area of the aquarium full of dolphins. humidity was awesome and breathing was so delightful. ahhh.

it took me about two hours to get over that windy beaches. then the road started to go a bit into the inlands of the south island. i was happy to see the mountains again. i didn’t push so hard on the pedals as i was quite lazy and too much concerned about surroundings and other shit. so when the sun started to go down i’ve found some forest or so and pitched the tent there. it was so nice. after some instant noodle soup am very full and fell asleep without any problems.

there is quite cold morning so i was in my ‘pit’ until 11 am, just when the sun came out properly being warm and comfortable with shining a bit more. the route wasn’t hill much and went around conway flats (charles upham had his farm there) and after some time to cheviot. under the hill just before this settlement i decided to make some good food. i bought some minced beef, ordered some chipies and bought some vegetables. then went on to do another 10 kms behind. just before i was about to camp i asked some farmer if there will be ohkay to stay at his property. he was such red faced and wasn’t looking too happy. i regreted i’ve ever asked this guy. at the end he gave me advice to go further on and reach a camping site just before the bridge. i did what i was told and found a beautiful camping site just under the huge pine trees. i quickly made my camp and started cooking before the dark consumed me. the food i cooked was so delicious that i had a problems to set a piece aside for the next morning. no no. chipies were still warm as well as my meat/vegetable mixture. i’ve finished the whole thing

the next morning was very nice and hot. i started cycling again until beautiful valley where i ran out of water. i bought a bloody expensive 4litre container of water and refilled my bottles. water from the taps had some bacterias and i was advised to boil it before drinking. no way. then i went through some sweets and started again. several steep hills were needed to be climbed and the long downhill session. not so steep but constantly down. pleasant ride. after some time i made it to wairapa. small place with a shop and backpackers. i bought some pork pieces, some other stuff and went to backpackers with vision of nice warm bed and shower. wrong. backpackers was untraditionally made of railway wagons set on the pieces of rails and everything looked like i was standing at the station. i met some other crazy cyclist from japan. he didn’t talked english much but at least understood. so we managed to talk a bit when i was cooking my dish. we shared the same dorm in a first wagon which appeared to be one of the coldest sleep ever in my life. it was like paying for sleeping in the fridge. whole wagon was made of cold steel and there were holes around the windows and such so i could possibly be much warmer in my tent. nevermind. he woke up very early and started cycling very soon after so that i just told him to take care from my sleeping bag. around ten i was able to go out and see that grass is icing. fuck me. i just spent this night in the coldest place ever.. i was really dissatisfied when i saw the shower. it was the same temperature inside the shower as outside. omg. i just washed those most important parts of my body and quickly went onto the sun to get some heat again. there was very funny coloured ‘autumn’ cat i became friend of so was cuddling it about an hour

after this place i was ready to face christchurch.

i started my south island mission around ten. i climbed the first long hill just beyond the picton and then carried on gently rolling terrain. mostly farmland and wineries. it was very pleasant ride. i had enough chocolate and carrots so i always had a reason to stop and chew something.

it was just after reaching the blenheim i realised i miss something. yeah, you’re right. there was no bloody rain or wind approaching. clear sky and fresh air was the only signs of the south island’s attitude. i was happy again. just me, hills, road and my bike.

concentration of the wineries started to be very high as i was in marlborough wine area. i happily passed the MONTANA wine processing plant. now i know what i was drinking back in auckland few times … montana white 7 dollars per bottle. glass was probably more expensive then that almost litre of white stuff inside. nevermind. it was tasty and my head did not split the next day. somewhere on the half way to seddon there was ridiculously long and quite steep hill in front of me. i got a grip on myself and started climbing up. road workers were shaking there heads and several cars gave me honk. on the top of the hill i celebrated my braveness and eat through half sack of pinneapple bites. so good!

i managed to cycle quite fast as i wanted to go to bed early. there was a railway line following the road and everytime i’ve heard some big noise i turned my head to figure out if it’s another truck or transcenic train. it was always a truck and once transcenic appeared i was unprepared without camera in my hand. so i have brown shit rather then a romantic picture of a train running through the beautiful terrain in the sunny weather. possum pancakes were appearing again and i felt everything is ohkay once again.

i made the last hill just before seddon where i wanted to camp somwhere around. when lady in the information site advised me the 15 dollar camp in the centre of seddon i quickly refused. i don’t like the idea of giving somebody money for just pitching the tent. especially in this cold. i’m not that rich to pay someone for my work…. and as i’ve checked my account those piles of money i had at the beginning where rapidly shrinking. i don’t have a pile so thick to kill a whale with it when hitting it’s head anymore. no no. i lived like a king for so long squandering like a nigga gangsta with a heavy chains around the neck and pimp rings on it’s wrists and fingers..

i left seddon far behind me and decided to ask some famer if i could camp on his possession.

friendly fijian farmer chev, manager of that winery area around allowed me to camp over night and next morning invited me for a tea and offered me a work as a master prunner. i rejected as politely as i could and moved on the next morning.

as i’m running out of sweets i just planned very light and ‘lazy’ distance of a village called clerance. there is very nice route i’m following. shore is full of rocks and i’m just expecting when seals will appear. there are signs of detours to the seal colonies nearby but i’m to lazy to do 11 kms just to take few pictures. there is some shop where i bought the energy drink and carried on until my thighs were as red as a fire engines in clerance is very cold and i could see a lot of snow capped mountains from that place. there is one apple tree near the highway. i’m out of water so i picked as many apples as i could because they were just delicious. then i persuaded some very helpful teacher from nearby school to give me some really tasty water and adviced of camping just behind clerance river bridge. cold night with a lots of turnovers.

the next morning there is sun shinning on my tent. so i deconstructed the camp and dried the tent and made those last 40 kms to the kaikoura very quickly. i wanted to do some shopping before it’s got dark and cold too much. i took few pictures of some seals on the way there. i’ve seen seals on my own eyes for the first time in my life in their normal habitat. they look like gigantic shits on the rock. they don’t do anything. they just sleep without any movement. some of them started moving when i burped after finishng apple but that was all. then in kaikoura i went for advice to those nice and chatty girls in the i-site to get info how to reach yha hostel maui. i quickly unmounted my shit from the bike took a bag and went on the other side of the town to buy something for the big feast.

i don’t want to be impolite and make you hungry by writing those long sentences about juicy and well spiced food i’ve cooked. just want to mention fresh tarakihi fillets and poached potatoes in tomato chutney with fresh salad and balsamic dressing…with entree as bluff oysters with lemon (they were canned and in special price as almost gone off

what more can i say when i tell you that it was warm place with electricity and wireless internet…i was in the heaven. third night wasn’t really my intention to stay but that morning i wanted to start cycling again there was snow and hail expected in sea levels. the weather forecast was fullfilled to the last word. i observed that hell from inside warm room of my dorm bed chatting with my friends from the czech republic.

it’s me, monster with a beard. i’m talking from the shallow grave…again.

there was some change in that fucking weather and i could sneak out of hostel without getting wet after first fifty meters. i went to the first wharf i’ve seen which had a sign of ‘picton ferry’ fortunately it was the second and cheaper company called bluebridge. there were two very nice ladies behind the desk. i choosed smiling brunette and purchased my boarding ticket for 55 bucks. it wasn’t too bad compared the ppl with vans who had to pay almost 200 dollars! saint bike.

i had two hours until the ferry will load us. i pretty much didn’t know what to do. i had loaded bike with me, knapsack on my back and very fresh wind around. i decided to stay nearby wellington railway station. there were quite lots of ppl so i could observe very nice girls walking there and back. i could see the beehive building which haven’t impressed me much as looked at it. it’s just ordinary material building in the conic shape. it has a patina such as most of the czech buildings which has been built during the comunists era. i think that it very likely to be the same age as those. i was to lazy to take a closer look. it was probably the effect of those girls walking around. some of them were quite crazy when walking in the skirts….and to be truly precise some of them were a bit of a skirt! wow.

anyway wind was working against me and didn’t revert any of the girls’ skirt but i rather have to put on the second layer of pants. my first layer of rags-like pants are to thin and full of holes which nobody wants to know of where they are.. i looked like a forest again. green jacket, slightly more green pants, green bag..most of the folks would type the colour of my brain as soldiers’ no. as anastacia sings ‘i’m not that kind of a guy..’ it’s just coincidence.

after some time i moved into the waiting room as cold was progressing. i fell asleep in few minutes as next thing i could hear was annoucing to board the ferry from the loudspeakers.

i tied the bike to some piece of a metal bowel of that gigantic ship and was advised to carry on to the cabins. it was, i would say ‘bioshock’ to enter the stairs. it smelt like crowd of ppl was womiting until the floor was sticky and then they let the liquid evaporate. it was totally disgusting smell and i could see that i wasn’t the only one who knew ‘where the wind blown from’. we just changed our terrified faces with several ppl while climbing those ’stairs of hell’ it was really funny. you know those few seconds grins on somebody’s faces when trying to ‘get together’ with others when feeling something is wrong at that moment. so it was that moment.

i don’t remember much from that almost 4 hours ride. i just took few pictures from the dock and then fell asleep in that heated lounge. the whole ship was very comfortably shaking with it’s engines’ attempts to pierce the waves. i just love it. in the middle of my midnight i was disturbed by those ugly noises of somebody throwing up in the sick bag. it was poor child not far from the enter of the lounge expressing his thoughts of gentle moves of the ship. at the end of the that adventure i quickly went down through those horror stairs and found an acommodation in yha hostel in picton. it was almost getting dark when we arrived.

i stayed few nights in wanganui dorm room bakcpackers and met a great german guy filip with hired van. we were both happy to talk to each other as we were the only backpackers at that braemar house backp. he was travelling alone as he haven’t found anyone to share a van with and so he offered me to take me to wellington just for a petrol costs. totally great offer. as the weather was really bad it was expected strong winds, hails and heavy rain. the day before this cloudy warfare began it took a ride around wanganui and visited both hills with water tower and war memorial tower. enjoyed the stunning and windy views and took some shaky hand pictures.

then i was taken to a wellington. the whole car had a problems with staying in vertical position as wind blown so badly as expected. we arrived with just one stop for a coffee in wellington around 3:30 pm. we got the room in YHA hostel and made a feast from the food we had. the next day was totally bad weather so that ferry was cancelled for the next day and so we went outside to see what’s the city about. it was really some kind of magnetism which took us to the internet gaming zone centre. we were shooting out someones’ heads for at least two hours. then i went to the cinema to see the new star trek movie. it was a bomb even i was the only person in the cinema for this flick.. i didn’t have enough of killing so i went to the internet gaming zone again after the movie and got caught on the special offer of 5 dollars for whole sunday night gaming. great!! i shooted in the game everything which was moving until my brain started dripping from my ears. it was seven in the morning and i had to go. i payed for the next day to get recovered from sleepless night and then met a coushsurfer kyle. happy guy who provided me some very important and nice ideas of my next stay in wellington. he couldn’t provided me a couch as he already had someone staying in his flat but that wasn’t problem at all. as the weather will be probably better after one or two days i will try to manage to go to the south island with a ferry or to sleep on the victoria hill somewhere. i’ll see what will be the situation in the morning.

as the cinema was very cheap (just 12 dollars) i went there again. i wanted to se x men wolverine origins and i can tell you i haven’t had this kind of cinema-screening blockbusters ever in my life. it was totally bombastic. i’m really happy i went there. so what’s next?

terminator salvation?

talk to my hand!

in short words of arnie in the terminator movie ‘i’m back’.

after few boring days in national park backpackers i hit the road again. there were some signs of nice weather and pieces of mountains begun appearing a bit. it’s a shame that this has been the only day i could do the tongariro crossings with others. as others say it’s like ‘crying above the spilled milk’.

it was pretty much downhill from the central plateau of north island. most of the hills were full of snow and that white shit has been predicted for later that day. i really wanted to miss that so i was trying to be as quick as possible. hopefuly everythig was ohkay and after some time i reached raetihi. i was really starving that day. only had few pieces of chocolate in the morning and then nothing. have to admit that i was eating everything which came by. if i could cook a human flesh i would do it because i’m a passionate carnivore

in the raetihi village it was lunch time and so i got my ass in the closest information centre to be informed and then moved to the cafe next door. i ordered a some savoury pie the one which contained as much meat as possible. it was ham and cheese pie. just for 7 dollars a huge brick like piece. i hope it won’t cause shitting a bricks afterwards ..and a beer of course. after approx. hour i was able to move. there was downhill road expected on the way to pipiriki but pretty much gravel.. after several hills this hell just appeared and i tryied to stay as calm as possible. wrong.

wet smeg-like layer on the road was probably for tougher guys then me. my rear wheel and my ass on the saddle were sliding from side to side as a drop of sweat between the boobs of the hoola hop dancer! if something like a biker’s hell existsted it would be this road. i was rolling downhill as quick as a knickers of some random K’road’s whore. my face was covered with a pieces of mud as it was splashing all around. i looked like someone who was sitting under a ventilator when suddenly some nasty person pushed a hershey’s squirt towards it! unbelieveable. then rock appeared. as you probably suppose it wasn’t normal rocks. they were in size of a golf ball mostly. my pear-shaped tyres were copying it’s every curve and my bike with that shit load on the back was making moving circus noises. several times i had to check wether my panniers were still attached to the bike.

the biggest shock came few twenty minutes after. a hog nearly in a size of my bike was looking at me. i’ve hit the breakes in a matter of miliseconds just before it disappeared into the bush. all my Rambo senses have been activated and i struggled with it’s animal instincts not to get distracted and continue. i was thinking of pulling out my pocket knife and start a hunt. when my heart stopped beating like a machine gun i’ve been back in my skin again.

as i was reaching the bottom of the valley there was a change into a sealed road but rain clouds were cumulated there and it started raining. it wasn’t a big deal for my heavy duty farming raincoat and trousers. i got into pipiriki just before dark. ladies in the raetihi did a good job and a woman in the kayak tours was expecting me. she provided me some leaflets about this area and advised me to take a look at the meeting place nearby toilets down in the ‘centre’. there was a roof above the area so there were no other questions where to camp. i settled there for a cold night but my tent didn’t get wet from rain. that was awesome.

it was cold night so all humidity was sublimised on the tent from inside. i couldn’t believe how much water am i able to breath out. it was sun shinning quite well so it was matter of minutes to get the tent dryied. i started cycling around 11a.m. it wasn’t very nice because there was a few kilometers long gently hill..on the gravel road again. as it was raining the whole night there were big pieces of mud and bush slided down on the road. i was taking care of not being really close to the sliding area as it was that sticky yellow mud. it was very nice ride with beautiful views on the meandres of the river and quite deep valley under. vegetation was really wild and i’ve also seen several possum pancakes. then it was mostly downhill with several bridges over wild streams and small hills. it was 80 kms to wanganui. i was really starving because i haven’t bought any sweets or chocolate. after 50 kms i was really desperate and hungry. i just sit on the street and took a rest. there wasn’t anything i could do for me. after this rest it was a bit easier. i’ve met those road workers with heavy technique who were trying to get rid of the slides on the road. it was brave work because without them there probably won’t be any cars passing me by that day. i’ve reached 60^th kilometer and was completely demoralised. hopefuly there were huge fosilised oysters rocks around the road. i took some picutres and started thinking of setting the camp over the night. it was getting darker as the time on my watches reached 5 pm.

and then there was a miracle in the form oh real humanity and gentlemensness. those road workes just stopped with their big car and offered me a ride into wanganui in their truck. i was so happy i couldn’t describe how my face had to look like when i’ve heard that. there was a last and gruesome 6kms long hill out of the river valley to state highway 4 leading to wanganui.

they were so nice that they took me to the front of the backpackers. totally awesome. i had just some stories to share with them and they were both laughing to some of them. new zealand is awesome country with best ppl i’ve ever met.